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Someone very nicely pointed out to me that I should have included sensual attraction in this graphic I made earlier. I’ve copy-pasta’d some of the more important text from that graphic although you should still read the other text too cause it’s still relevant! 

Firstly, the definitions on the graphic above are very very very very bare-bones, and it’s important to say that different people experience the different kinds of attraction in different ways, and also there are probably more kinds of attraction, but I believe these are the main ones and the most important to differentiate between.

Secondly, it’s also important to note that each person has their own limits and lines drawn between the different kinds of attraction. To some people, touching would be a reaction to aesthetic attraction; to others, it may be a romantic act; to others, sexual. Some people view kissing as sexual and others view it as romantic. Everyone, ace or allo, has their own borders and their own fences in between these different kinds of attraction and some don’t have any fences in between them at all, and just let them run around wild together. 

The first reaction I usually get when I explain the difference between sexual, romantic, and aesthetic attraction is something along the lines of “but no one looks at someone and just wants to have sex with them right away! everyone needs to get to know them first!” This argument is also a big part of demisexual erasure. Which is why I think it’s important to really differentiate between these types of attraction. And just because these three types of attraction go together for some doesn’t mean they go together for all. 

Again, and especially with the inclusion of sensual attraction, it’s important for me to point out that not everyone has the same standards for each type of attraction. What is included in sensual for some may be included in sexual for others. Asexual people can be sensually attracted to people and desire physical intimacy that doesn’t include sexual intercourse, in fact, many do. And I feel the need to point this out often and firmly because there are people in the asexual community invalidating EACH OTHER because few people seem to understand that not only is asexuality a spectrum, everyone exists on their own individual spectrum. 

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